Life Scenario
Bejebus. It's been a while since I've updated - so to all 5 of my fans, I apologize.
I'm recovering from the craziness that was Konktoberfest - A Celebration of Birthdays. The planning was so worth it just to see my friends smile. I can't describe to you how good that feels. Anyway, that basically has consumed my extra time, hence why I haven't blogged in so long.
On to other things.
I'm wondering how many people think of "life scenarios." I suppose when you're young and single, there are so many different directions that life can take you. These are the ones that I've thought about. As a warning, this might only make sense to me and no one else, so apologies in advance if I lose you with this drivel.
Scenario 1
Married, with children, living in suburbs, career in non-profit sector, soccer mom
Scenario 2
Married, no kids, living in a city (prefer Chicago, but for RS, I'll put down Austin, just because he would make the arguement that Chicago is cold), mean, corporate PR bitch who keeps it real by volunteering with a non-profit
Scenario 3
Not married, no kids, living in city, mean, corporate PR bitch who hates people
Scenario 4
Not married, adopt kids, living in suburbs, career in non-profit sector and soccer mom
I guess that S1 is where I just figured I'd end up, but the older I get, the more I realize that it just might not happen and I have to be o.k. with that. If I end up in S4, would I be able to make it as a single mom? Women have done it before, I don't see why I couldn't. I most certainly do not want S3 because I generally like people and I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't become an evil PR monster. There's S2, but I'm not so certain I would get married to someone who didn't want kids. If there's a bigger problem (meaning if there's a reason that kids aren't possible) then I believe I would have to adopt.
For those who know me, not having everything planned out drives me absolutely nutty. I figure that one of those pesky New Year's resolutions will be to just take things as they come, because there's no other way. I once got some profound advice from a colleague of mine in one of our many deep discussions. She was making a claim that people shouldn't get married until after 30. LB said from 0-18, you are under your parents supervision, there are rules to follow. Even in college, from 18-22, you get your first taste of freedom and get to figure everything out, but you still have the university rules that you have to abide by. Many don't get their first experience with being totally independent until after college. Her logic was that you need to take time to figure yourself out, likes and dislikes and all between post college and 30. LB also said that this will be the only time in your life that you get to be selfish, that belongs to you and only you. Once you're saddled with children and a spouse, it becomes all about them. She finished it off with her signature, "So, just live it up, kid."
I'm not going to lie, LB had some wacked out theories but this one made sense to me. I wish I could practice what she preached. I have a hard time not thinking and/or worrying about what the future holds. I'm currently in Scenario 0, which for the time being suits me - single, career in non-profit sector and no other responsibilities. I'm just wondering when I cross over to the other side.
Until then, I guess I'll just live it up, kid.
I'm recovering from the craziness that was Konktoberfest - A Celebration of Birthdays. The planning was so worth it just to see my friends smile. I can't describe to you how good that feels. Anyway, that basically has consumed my extra time, hence why I haven't blogged in so long.
On to other things.
I'm wondering how many people think of "life scenarios." I suppose when you're young and single, there are so many different directions that life can take you. These are the ones that I've thought about. As a warning, this might only make sense to me and no one else, so apologies in advance if I lose you with this drivel.
Scenario 1
Married, with children, living in suburbs, career in non-profit sector, soccer mom
Scenario 2
Married, no kids, living in a city (prefer Chicago, but for RS, I'll put down Austin, just because he would make the arguement that Chicago is cold), mean, corporate PR bitch who keeps it real by volunteering with a non-profit
Scenario 3
Not married, no kids, living in city, mean, corporate PR bitch who hates people
Scenario 4
Not married, adopt kids, living in suburbs, career in non-profit sector and soccer mom
I guess that S1 is where I just figured I'd end up, but the older I get, the more I realize that it just might not happen and I have to be o.k. with that. If I end up in S4, would I be able to make it as a single mom? Women have done it before, I don't see why I couldn't. I most certainly do not want S3 because I generally like people and I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't become an evil PR monster. There's S2, but I'm not so certain I would get married to someone who didn't want kids. If there's a bigger problem (meaning if there's a reason that kids aren't possible) then I believe I would have to adopt.
For those who know me, not having everything planned out drives me absolutely nutty. I figure that one of those pesky New Year's resolutions will be to just take things as they come, because there's no other way. I once got some profound advice from a colleague of mine in one of our many deep discussions. She was making a claim that people shouldn't get married until after 30. LB said from 0-18, you are under your parents supervision, there are rules to follow. Even in college, from 18-22, you get your first taste of freedom and get to figure everything out, but you still have the university rules that you have to abide by. Many don't get their first experience with being totally independent until after college. Her logic was that you need to take time to figure yourself out, likes and dislikes and all between post college and 30. LB also said that this will be the only time in your life that you get to be selfish, that belongs to you and only you. Once you're saddled with children and a spouse, it becomes all about them. She finished it off with her signature, "So, just live it up, kid."
I'm not going to lie, LB had some wacked out theories but this one made sense to me. I wish I could practice what she preached. I have a hard time not thinking and/or worrying about what the future holds. I'm currently in Scenario 0, which for the time being suits me - single, career in non-profit sector and no other responsibilities. I'm just wondering when I cross over to the other side.
Until then, I guess I'll just live it up, kid.
posted by mkp @ 8:52 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:18 AM,
archana said…
i hear what you're saying. the crazy part of me, however, wonders if you have to be single to really figure yourself out. in times of utmost struggle, it tends to be other people in my life that alert me to my denial / craziness / bitchiness / kindness. and the people around me have taught me much more about who i am, what i want and where i want to go than i ever could have figured out alone. so it kind of begs the question -- why the need to be single on this quest? why not seek guidance from others around you (including those in relationships with you) who may have enough distance from your mind to explain? why not let others that are important to you SHAPE who you become, instead of hammering it all out and seeing it as a finite process?
i'm a HUGE advocate of staying single if it is best for you. and there are definitely times in life when we need to just chill and ignore that part of life. and it is definitely important to be HAPPY single before seeking more. but i never quite buy the "finding myself" argument as a reason for singlehood. your partner can HELP you find yourself! or did i miss something?!
this is why i'm permanently parked in Crazytown. might have to buy soon instead of just renting ;)
At 12:54 PM,
Sheets said…
The scenarios are quite real but I have to agree with LB on this one. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. When I spent $___ on Lulu pants, the one blue moon morning that I decide to take the time to straighten my hair or just not grocery shop for days and days. These are all selfish decisions that I am the sole deciding factor but also the only person whom these decisions affect (minus Lulu... as I contribute to their quest for yoga domination of the world). This all changes when you have kids. The post college to 30 years are only about you. I think this sometimes complicates things for me when in a relationship. but for the most part I'm enjoying it. I hope you also embrace it as you race through (read: you walk fast) your day!
Glad to have you back and blogging.
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