Nice Girls Always Finish...
dead last. It’s true. Or this is what I’m starting to find, anyway.
I am now officially jealous of my friends who are a) in serious relationships b) engaged or c) already married. I can’t believe I harbor this jealousy. I was always just happy for them, which I am still, but I find myself sometimes wishing I was in their shoes instead of mine – you know my shoes – the heels that pinch the feeling out of my toes. I believe this jealousy is there because they don’t have to go (or will never have to go) through all of these ridiculous relationship games– they are done – done, done, done - finished.
And here’s the thing, you can find someone interesting, and actually want to get to know them better, not in an I_want_to_marry_you sort of way, but maybe just a “hey, let’s go out and grab a bite and talk” sort of way. When did going out to dinner translate into getting married? I wonder. Dinner isn’t a long-term commitment. It’s MAYBE a few hours. MAYBE.
What’s really scary is from my various experiences with these matters is that I’m able to spot the flaky ones – you know, the one’s that will punk out. And I can actually do this within just a few short conversations. Maybe this ability to read others is a good quality to have. For the record, this intuition is a totally recent thing – wasn’t even there a few months ago. I guess I should use this new power to help myself avoid situations that could be less-than-stellar i.e. “Let’s just be friends.” Utter these words and it will END any semblance of a friendship that could have ever existed.
There’s got to be a quota for how many disappointments a heart can take and I think I’m rapidly starting to exceed mine. The eternal optimist that hangs out on my right shoulder says to keep the faith - not all situations will be bad. The pessimist, the one that sits on the left shoulder, has relegated me to a life of singledom which will just have to do, because it would be much easier than dealing with some of the situations I’ve been through as of late. I hope the eternal optimist wins.
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I feel like a gerbil on an exercise wheel. I keep spinning but I’m not actually GOING anywhere.
End rant.
I am now officially jealous of my friends who are a) in serious relationships b) engaged or c) already married. I can’t believe I harbor this jealousy. I was always just happy for them, which I am still, but I find myself sometimes wishing I was in their shoes instead of mine – you know my shoes – the heels that pinch the feeling out of my toes. I believe this jealousy is there because they don’t have to go (or will never have to go) through all of these ridiculous relationship games– they are done – done, done, done - finished.
And here’s the thing, you can find someone interesting, and actually want to get to know them better, not in an I_want_to_marry_you sort of way, but maybe just a “hey, let’s go out and grab a bite and talk” sort of way. When did going out to dinner translate into getting married? I wonder. Dinner isn’t a long-term commitment. It’s MAYBE a few hours. MAYBE.
What’s really scary is from my various experiences with these matters is that I’m able to spot the flaky ones – you know, the one’s that will punk out. And I can actually do this within just a few short conversations. Maybe this ability to read others is a good quality to have. For the record, this intuition is a totally recent thing – wasn’t even there a few months ago. I guess I should use this new power to help myself avoid situations that could be less-than-stellar i.e. “Let’s just be friends.” Utter these words and it will END any semblance of a friendship that could have ever existed.
There’s got to be a quota for how many disappointments a heart can take and I think I’m rapidly starting to exceed mine. The eternal optimist that hangs out on my right shoulder says to keep the faith - not all situations will be bad. The pessimist, the one that sits on the left shoulder, has relegated me to a life of singledom which will just have to do, because it would be much easier than dealing with some of the situations I’ve been through as of late. I hope the eternal optimist wins.
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I feel like a gerbil on an exercise wheel. I keep spinning but I’m not actually GOING anywhere.
End rant.
posted by mkp @ 11:08 PM
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